While on a recent business trip to Tucson, Arizona, I enjoyed visiting the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum. It was stunning. A rich history of the desert and amazing stories of the survival of its flora and fauna in the extreme heat.
In between exhibits, I went to grab a bite at their quick-service restaurant. I ordered a taco salad. It was a build-your-own kind of thing where you got to pick your own ingredients. The gentleman behind the counter seemed a lot less excited to be there than I was. Surprising.
When we got to the end of the assortment of ingredients, the following exchange ensued:
- I would love some guacamole, I said
- That will be extra, sir, he answered
- I’ll survive, I replied
From there, we enjoyed a slightly uncomfortable pregnant pause while he stared puzzledly at the guac. Then, he finally looked up at me and said:
- Is that a yes or a no?
I smiled and told him it was a yes.
As I sat down to eat, I laughed for two reasons.
One. That was just funny. The look on that poor young man’s face when he asked me if that was a yes or no will be forever burned in my mind. He wanted to be respectful, yet at the same time, his disdainful eyes said: dude, why can’t you just answer the question like a normal human being so I don’t have to ask this uncomfortable clarifying question?
Two. The kid was right. My answer, which seemed obvious to me, could have been interpreted in the affirmative or the negative. And I realized that I do this a lot. Things seem so clear in my head, yet my choice of words can lead to confusion. I see it at the office, and I especially see it at home, where Jody is convinced I am the world’s worst storyteller because I leave out key details, assuming she is telepathically following the backstory in my head.
With Clear is Kind, Unclear is Unkind being a mantra at our office, I realize that taking an extra moment to clarify what I’m saying will go a long way to reducing friction and unease in my daily interactions.
How about you? Ever have a moment where you thought you were crystal clear, and the person or people across from you took it in a completely other direction? Or vice versa?
It’s definitely worth the extra minute to make sure everyone is on the same page. Confusion is a constant creator of cognitive chaos.
Be well, Peter
P.S. The guac was through the roof good.
