My girls and I had been working on my wife for years to finally get a dog, and after a prolonged and persistent engagement, we finally wore her down. It had to be small, hypoallergenic and couldn’t shed. Fine, we can make that work.
After some homework, we decided on a Morkie: half Maltese, half Yorkie and found a breeder just outside of Montreal. When I went to pick her up, she weighed under two pounds! We named her Charlotte, and she is now known throughout the neighborhood as Chari. Three years later, and clearly fully grown, she weighs in at a ferocious 8.5 lbs.
She has been an absolutely loving addition to our family. Whenever you see her, you can’t help but smile and give her a hug. Well, unless she’s barking in the middle of the night and you momentarily want to give her away, but I digress.
Ironically, despite her small stature, she loves to wrestle on our bed. Flip her on her back, bite her belly and she bites back. But never to the point of hurting, just the right playful amount. One day it occurred to me that she is never worried I am going to hurt her. I am literally 20 times her size, and yet the physical power dynamic never dawns on her; in other words, that things could go bad in some way. The trust is absolute.
Now clearly, we have fostered that environment and engrained in her the belief that nothing bad is going to happen to her in our care. We don’t abuse her so she doesn’t even know what abuse is.
On the other hand, most of us have run into, or heard of, an animal that has sustained severe or long-term abuse, and whenever a human approaches, they shudder or pee themselves. They have come to expect abuse since that is all they know.
Transpose this situation to pretty much any relationship you have, be it at home or at work, with your colleagues or clients, or even your relationship with yourself. Imagine those you interact with feel absolute trust that you only have their best interests at heart. They know you as kind, generous, loving and only wanting the best for them.
What kind of open, constructive conversations would you be able to have? What kind of engagement would you see from your colleagues at work? What kind of uptake would you get on your product or service offering from clients who knew integrity was at the heart of everything you stand for? What would be the impact on your brand, be it your personal or organizational one?
We all end up hurting people at one point or another, most of the time, unintentionally. Welcome to the joys of being human. We can however always be 100% accountable for our actions and the impact they have on those around us.
So how about you?
How can you or your organization show up so that everyone you interact with rolls over and is ready to play like Charlotte?
Trust is key. Trust is sacred. It needs to be intentionally nurtured.
The simple question to ask yourself with every human interaction, whether by email, phone, or an in-person meeting, is: will how I show up today build trust or erode it?
Adjust accordingly.
